Bella

Bella, you know that we love you!

Just yesterday we were at the anniversary service in Valmiera. You went to Sunday school. Then you came back, sat next to Mommy and drew beautiful hearts in your new notebook. Mommy whispered to you: “I love you. You are very beautiful. You will be a singer...” The service continued, and you came to the front row, where I was, and beside me you drew little flowers in your notebook. I also whispered in your ear: “I love you. You are very beautiful...” We told you this often. We often told you that Jesus loves you! So often in everyday life you came up to Mom or to me and, snuggling close, said in the way only you could: “I love you!” Thank you!

Often you would quietly sing to yourself in everyday life a song with the chorus: “I come, I come to You, Jesus! You are my Joy when I have none, You are my Strength when I am weak, You are my Friend when I am alone, You are MY GOD!” Once I was tired and harsh, and you began to sing this song quietly to yourself... I felt ashamed.

After the service you ran around with your sisters and other children in the sunny yard, where all of us were too. Mommy took a beautiful picture of you. Your bright, dear face, your blue eyes. You are so beautiful!

When I often asked you: “Why are you so beautiful?”, you would answer: “Because God made me that way.”

When we said goodbye to go to the car, you ran a little step ahead of us and... After a moment you could no longer take the next breath. We tried to bring you back, to breathe for you, to move you... Many people around were praying to God and calling on the name of Jesus!

After a moment you were already in the resuscitation room... I collapsed to my knees in the corridor behind the glass wall and prayed to Jesus, to whom we had so often prayed together. Mommy prayed in the car with your sisters. I prayed and prayed - but then I placed you in the hands of the Heavenly Father. I was frightened by this thought and did not understand where these words came from, but although they were fighting for you in resuscitation, it seems that at that moment your little soul went up to Heaven.

After a moment we were already standing by your bed. You were being ventilated, but your little heart stopped. I kissed your forehead and, as every evening when you fell asleep, I drew a little cross on your forehead. You always wanted it drawn large, and if I drew it small, you corrected me...

Now you are a singer in Heaven. You sing to the glory of God! Hallelujah!

We have so many memories! We drove home, it was raining very hard, and we cried. It was so very hard to part from you. You made us so rich, and even in leaving you have given us so much. So many incomprehensibly beautiful memories... How you sang, danced, how patiently you could spend a long time putting together a puzzle by yourself...

Oh, dear one, you are with Jesus, and it is very good for you. You were with us for a little more than four years. But your little life, with your small footsteps, has left lasting, deep and large footprints.

None of us will ever be the same again. God will use you and your departure for His Glory. We do not understand many things and cannot grasp them, but I believe that many will be in Heaven because of you! In your four years you accomplished more than I have in my almost 40. Already during this life we will see how God has used you. We will see many things only in Heaven.

It seems to me that already today you saved one crumbling family, and two boys will again have a father who will live for the glory of God...

Oh, dear Bella!

All of us who are able will say goodbye to you on Thursday, August 30, at 3:00 p.m. in Uzava, at your and our summer home “Nikazi”. There you ran, swung, danced, sang, fed the lambs, trained the big dog, helped with all the country chores, helped Grandma and Grandpa, and followed me around as if glued to me... Then we will go to the cemetery there by the sea. But, as Gabite and I already talked while I held her on my lap, now you are sitting on Jesus' lap, and Jesus is saying to you: “I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL!”

BELLA, you often waited for me to come home from work and ran out into the yard to meet me, loudly calling: “Daddy!” For as long as God has appointed, I will work a little longer, and then I will come home from work, and you will run to meet us again! Mommy and I love you very much! You will always be in our hearts until we meet again!

Thank you!

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be His Name!